Six Ways to Find Your Tribe as a School Leader.
Working in school leadership can be a bit lonely from time to time. There are certain layers of information a bit like permissions on a social media account. Some things you can share with colleagues, others you can’t. So who do you talk to when you are trying to work through a situation or when you need to vent? How do you process and not feel completely isolated? I am pretty good with managing my stress and working through situations in my own mind but sometimes you need to share your thinking or concerns with someone who understands.
My mum is a good sounding board as she is a retired teacher and loves the daily afternoon phone call. She tells me about the drama of retirement village which usually revolves around the weekly bowls competition or the gossip from the afternoon cards game. I tell her about the funny stories of school, the latest playground issue or round of head lice we are dealing with.
I can’t share anything too big with my mum though because I know she would worry. Also, it’s not the purpose of the afternoon phone call. The afternoon phone call is to check in, ensure that mum’s cup is full and I have superficially decompressed a bit.
But what about those bigger things? Those things that only someone in your role would understand. You don’t always want a fix, you want an ear. You want some timely sage advice and a whole lotta air-time. It’s then I call in my friends who are in the same role.
I have a small group of principal friends who I can call and talk through a problem and know it won’t go further. I can let down my guard, drop my bundle and lose the proverbial lolly all at once. These friends are insightful, supportive and most of all, they just get it.
When I was an assistant principal, I had a similar group, who were also assistant principals. You could call them, text them and say ‘Oh Lordy, what do I do here?!’ and know that they would have your back and help you along the way.
If you are new in the role this year, it is important to mix with other people in your role. I found when I moved to principalship, whilst I was still friends with my assistant principal friends, I couldn’t really call on them for help the way I used to. Similarly, I found that when my assistant principal friends would reach out for help, I was a little bit removed from the day to day dealings of timetables and relief staff. I still get along with these people but they are social friends now rather than my ‘professional tribe’.
Something I have also found useful is being part of an online principal mastermind group. This group has principals from Australia, USA and Canada which has been so insightful. Having perspectives across the globe is such a gift and I leave each catch up feeling inspired, supported and strong. It’s amazing how similar schools are, even when you are in different countries.
6 Pieces of Advice for Finding Your Professional Tribe:
Attend networking events, professional learning and opportunities for connection. I know they are lame and painful but if you are struggling to find some like minded professionals, these places are good.
Use platforms such as LinkedIn. Back in the day, I used to love the Sunday night Aussie Ed chat on Twitter led by Brett Salakas. Nowadays, I love reading the musings and insights from fellow educators on LinkedIn and feel that this particular platform is professional connection gold.
Listen and take note. When you are at your principal meetings, network days, professional learning sessions, who are the people that you find interesting? Like any job, there are plenty of people just taking up the space with their voice. Listen to how people interact, their questions or insights and if that person or people connect with you, send them an email. Ask them if they would have time for a quick chat online or whether you could pop out to visit them at their school. It is through these avenues that professional networks are made and trust is built.
Join the Dots and Build the Connection. Ask those who you admire who are some principals or leaders they admire. Be honest and say that you are new in the role/area/district and are interested in getting to know people and building a professional connection. People often will invite you along to one of their gatherings and if not, offer to host a get together at your school with a few people for the purpose of sharing ideas and supporting one another. If this seems a bit strained, connect it with work that you are all doing through your schools. It might be that you all share ideas around safety, professional learning, staffing etc. Use the model of the ‘Lean In’ group to assist you and possibly consider a professional reading or book club to help build context and connection.
Regular Catch Ups. My group of principal friends catch up once a month for dinner. Sometimes we talk work, most of the time we talk travel, clothes, TV and books. It’s about building the connection and fostering the safety and trust that comes with friendship. The mastermind group I am in meet once every two weeks online. As this is an international group and there is a time difference to deal with, this meeting happens 6am for me. I don’t mind the early start as it’s a great time of day and being first up, I’m less likely to get interrupted.
Be Part of the Team. It is important to give as well as get in a professional tribe. You can’t just call when you want something, you need to support those in your tribe through check-ins and support just as you would expect them to do to you. Send them an article you see that might be of interest, tag them in posts on LinkedIn or if all else fails, text them a funny meme during the week to brighten their day.
There are many ways to not feel alone in what can be considered quite a lonely job. It is a matter of looking for the opportunities and building the tribe. There are people in schools everywhere, walking in the same shoes, along the same path as you. Wouldn’t it be a great opportunity to lighten the load and share a story along the way? Use this week to consider who might be worth reaching out to.
Remember, the idea of a professional tribe isn’t reserved just for those in leadership. If you are in a classroom, a specialist teacher, librarian, first time teaching a particular year level, new to a town or district, early career teacher or any role really, I really believe you will benefit from reaching out and building a support system.
Anne-Marie
